WENDY SERRANO
The longest relationship you will ever have, is the relationship with yourself. And this type of self love, is the most intimate relationship of all.
But with life’s crazy demands, our overwhelming busy schedules and outsourcing every form of validation we possibly can (Netflix or a Tinder date anyone?) self love can also become a bit of a construct and very confusing. It can also be one of the first things to slip through our busy schedule and put on the back burner (guilty).
Loving yourself and having deep reverence towards yourself, really sets the tone for everything else in your life. I like to say, “how you do one thing, is how you do everything” and that especially applies to how you love yourself (coming from a certified woman who spent the first three decades of her life not loving herself!)
So whether it's Valentine’s Day or not, I want to remind you that self-love is not fleeting. It’s not a cringey, cheesy concept that involves a bubble bath, shopping or “treating yourself” (though these things are great hits of dopamine!). Self-love is an ongoing journey, a rite of passage and a sacred ritual we should all embody.
By all means, you know yourself better than ANYBODY, and it’s so important to become your number 1 cheerleader, best friend and hype girl.
Here are three ways you can cultivate self-love in your life that will really make a difference:
1. Start showing up for yourself - put yourself and your wellbeing first
You know all those times you say, “Oh I will just go to the gym tomorrow” and then your alarm goes off and you press snooze? Yes, we’ve all been there. But by showing up for yourself in those moments where you really don’t want to, or when things are a little bit extra hard, you are building that self-love and self-trust muscle. You are showing to yourself and solidifying that neural pathway, that you really DO stick to your word, and you CAN count on yourself. No matter what the decision is.
I like to see this as, you wouldn’t bail on a friend (I mean, we have all been there, but accountability totally helps) why would you give up on yourself? Show up for yourself, because you deserve it.
Showing up for yourself also looks like going to those appointments that you’ve been putting off or heading to that gym class you missed last week!
2. How you speak to yourself matters - practice self-compassion
We all know our minds have approximately 60,000-70,000 thoughts a day. That is ALOT to keep up with. And the never ending hum of distractions from our social media, emails, calendars etc. So. Much. Head. Noise. But have you ever stopped to enjoy a moment of stillness, and ask yourself, “What do I really need in this moment?”
Have you ever stopped to say thank you to yourself for showing up to that really hard meeting? Have you ever stopped to say “You look beautiful” in the mirror every time you catch your reflection? It’s in these moments of introspection and showing kindness to ourselves via our words and thoughts, that impact us the most.
Our words are spells we put out to the universe, mirroring back to us our biggest beliefs. Think about this the next time you criticise yourself, your skin, your body, your hair… Would you say that to someone that you love?
These are my two go-to pillars for practicing self-love. Here are a few other ways to show yourself some self-love this February:
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Go for a walk in nature
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Practice a positive affirmation
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Journal
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Practice gratitude
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Spend a day doing nothing (like literally nothing)
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Let go of comparison to others
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Forgive yourself
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Meditate or breathwork
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Go for a mindful walk (without headphones)
You are incredible, you are loved and you are so supported.
With love,
Wendy x
